Sumo Dwight

Stanley: "I do not think this picture is funny."

Leading Scientist Finds Way to Defy the Laws of Physics

I Heart Vader

Good! Use your aggresive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

You don't know the power of the Darkside!

Not a Smart Move

Movie Recommendation

I just saw an excellent movie called The Man Who Would be King (1975). It's with Sean Connery and Michael Caine as two unpolished Ex-British soldiers who set off for Kafiristan (Afghanistan) to take over the country. And they do it. It's fun to watch. Add it to your queue.

Colbert Nation

I'd love to have a mini-me.

A True American Hero

Passionate Voter- "Is this about Sangina?"
Mary from Manhattan- "No it isn't. Could you..."
Passionate Voter- "Vote Sanjaya! Show America that we should vote for Sanjaya.
No it is important!
No. I'm an American. I will vote for Sanjaya.
Sanjaya!"

Status

Just in case you're scoring at home.
Showers: check
Water: check
Luggage: 50%
AC: check
Busy: check

Yes, I Like John Wayne

He made great American movies.

Blogging, One Year On

Monday is the one year anniversary to when I entered this obsession. 331 postings and 9000 visitors later I wonder if the Family Normal has got any better (genius) or it's on the verge of stupidity. What do you think? I'd like to hear from all the lurkers out there who read everyday but never comment. Like you in the Bronx, or you the Madison Peeper, or the Middlebury, Connecticut Stalker. I know about the Englewood Spelllunker and the Cambridge Snob, and Art the Fergus Falls junior high violin playing teacher's pet but not the rest of you. Who are you?

Last Shower

Wednesday, April 18, 2007. 8:20 AM Central Standard Time. Minneapolis, Minnesota... and it was voided as soon as I carried my luggage to the car.

The Qrt of Typing on q French Keyboqrd

Typing on q French keyboqrd cqn be auite qggevqting, believe ,e;

Dwight's Doppelgänger

Power Cuts

I wake up to eerie silence and what seems like buckets of sweat pouring off me. The power is out. It’s 91 degrees in this room and it’s unbearable without the ceiling fan. I try to go back to sleep but it’s impossible.

Our kitchen has a thirty foot high ceiling with a metal roof that is screened around the sides at the top so it is always the coolest room in the house after dark. I decide to bring a body-length cushion in there to lie on the floor to go back to sleep. Is there something crawling on me? It can’t be a mosquito since the room is screened unless the screen has rusted out again. Something just bit me. It really hurts. There is a red spot on my foot. Ants. There are ants crawling on me.

I put the cushion on a table. I still can’t sleep. I have a combination of jet lag and an irritation to the mosque loud speaker eight houses down.

I can’t believe we live like this.

A Wave of Heat

I arrive back to my house in Djibouti to find that the power has not been cut but the water has been. The car also has a flat tire. I knew I was going to find some problems like this. It’s been four months. Thankfully my SIM card on my phone has not expired which has been my biggest worry.

It’s hot. I quickly shut the door after exchanging pleasantries with our neighbor and a couple members of the guard community. I quickly strip down and find a pair of shorts.

I need to use the bathroom really bad. If there is still water in the tank on the back of the toilet I can avoid living with the stench the next two days. I check to see if there is water in the tank. There is. Yes! I use my only flush within the first 3 minutes of being home. You’ve got to be kidding me. No toilet paper!

Tomorrow is Friday, the only day everything is closed so it won’t be until Saturday until I can go to the Water Department to try to get it turned back on and then it still might take them a day or two.

I found out the new 5 star hotel has wi-fi, so I know where I’m going to be frequenting.

Cause and Effect, Chain of Events, All of the Chaos Makes Perfect Sense

What does an airport in Yemen look like?

My luggage is not going to make it to Djibouti with me. They already told me. It is all because of one guy and a slip of his wrist in Salt Lake City.

I found out my Delta flight to Frankfurt was going to be 30 minutes late after I checked the departure monitors at the Cincinnati airport yesterday. The gate agent told me we had to wait for a few people from a late plane from Salt Lake City.

We loaded the plane. The flight was going to be crowded but an empty seat remained open next to me as we waited for the Salt Lake passengers. Finally they arrived and a grad student from the University of Utah sat next to me. She told me there was a snow storm in Utah and before their flight took off someone was de-icing the plane and sprayed it on the pilot’s windshield some had got between the windows somehow and fouled things up.

Consequently in Frankfurt I only had 25 minutes between my plane’s arrival and the departure of my next flight. I ran through the concourse. A gate agent saw me running and knew it was me and said “Mr. Normal, we’ve been waiting for you.” The agent said it was impossible for my luggage to make the connection since they had to scan it first.

The de-icer in Salt Lake City will never know the trouble he has caused me in Africa.

The Swiss Alps.

I also saw the Italian coast, the Nile River and Jedda, Saudi Arabia from the plane.

Preps

Passport: check

Preparations

I'm going on a trip in my favorite rocket ship. I'll keep you posted...

OS

I've been thinking about buying a new computer. I heard there's this great game called pong.

Freak

I once was told I had three ureters.

Ex-Con

I once had my car stolen.

Overrated

I once jumped out of an airplane.

Zinedine

I once played in a national championship basketball game.

Trauma

I once found out that catheters were no fun.

Legendary

I once beat Michael Chang in a real tennis match.

Unstoppable

I once greased up my pants with vasoline so as not to be tackled in a JV football match. It worked.

Dry

I once ate six saltines in under a minute.

Weapons

I once wrestled down a thief inside my house, naked.

Diaper

I once saw a shark while snorkeling.

Nice

I once had a banker named Jihad.

Brush

I once drove Chuck Knoblock's car.

Bag o' Tricks Ten Years On

TC

Captain America

Bad

Bathroom Humour

This is the type of thing my mom would forward to me but it has its funny moments.

Unfathomable

Easter Dinner

It was good.

Family Circus Encore

Roxy Normal- "Jane, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Jane Normal- "I want to be a doctor and an African-American."

Nerd Herd

Cavemen Walk out of Forest After 4000 Years
Associated Press- April 6, 2007
Yesterday four primative men walked out of the forest in Northern California for the first time in years while still telling bad jokes...

Family Circus

Joe Normal- "Very good Jane. It's me as a Roman soldier."

Jane Normal- "No Daddy. It's you as Sanjaya."

Roy

Watch out for this guy.

Here's a link to chatty Kelly Kapoor's blog though it's not very good: Mindyephron.blogspot.com. I read somewhere that when they are shooting the Office they have to act like they are working so some of them work on their blogs in the background.

She has other contributer's to it too. I suspect SC is Steve Carell.

You're Fired!

Surprisingly, this 65 year-old Wal-Mart greeter was fired for sending this photo to a fellow employee.

This is why I don't shop at Wal-Mart... except for when they roll back the prices.

Bean

I love this guy. He's a genius.

Pride

Early morning, April four
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

Cathy

Cathy is so funny.

Comics

Cantstanzya

Continuing on with the theme of irritating people: Click here for 22 reasons Bonds won't pass Aaron. He needs just 22 homeruns to pass Hank Aaron's legendary homerun record.

I hope he falls in a man hole never to be seen again.

Angry Hillary

"Vote for me or my people will invade your planet!"

Boom Goes the Dynamite

Boom


And classic Noah... This is why I love him.

Jacobins

Blocking the hallway is an everyday occurance by these kids around here. It's like living in the French Revolution.

Annoyances, Part II

The best/worst part was when Charla forced herself to chuck sausage. Unbelievable.

He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga— and his future in baseball

THE CURIOUS CASE OF SIDD FINCH

It's too bad this guy didn't last long. With a 168 mph fastball, he would have been a legend.

Sidd (short for Siddharta) Finch was a rookie baseball pitcher in training with the New York Mets. Finch, who had never played baseball before, was attempting to decide between a sports career and one playing the French horn. What was astonishing about Finch was that he could pitch a fastball at an amazing 168 mph, far above the record of a mere 103 mph. He also wore only one shoe - a heavy hiker's boot - when pitching.

Finch grew up in an English orphanage and was adopted by anarchaeologist who later died in a plane crash in Nepal. After briefly attending Harvard University, he went to Tibet to learn "yogic mastery of mind-body," which was the source of his pitching prowess.

Click here to read the full article.